Shadowed Darkness
by BlackRoseImmortal
Summary: When Kimi becomes depressed,Her world turns black..But is there anyone that can help her? Thats the question....


Shadowed Darkness  
  
by BlackRoseImmortal  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Rugrats,I only own this story and plot. n.n  
  
Rating: PG-13(for now)  
  
Author's Notes: This is my first Rugrats fic n.n anyway I hope you like it,I was bored when I decided to write this.Later it'll turn R for suicide attempt..among other things.  
  
Summery: When Kimi becomes depressed,Her world turns black..But is there anyone that can help her? Thats the question....  
  
Genre: Angst/Tragedy  
  
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Chapter One: Pain  
  
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Hello,My name is Kimi and I'm about to die......  
  
Kimi's voice could be heard in the background as she leapt in front of Tommy,Six bullets going straight through her as crimson blood poured over the hard-wood floor,She collapsed to the ground,her body now useless as the others gathered around her.As her vision faded and the black swirling mists of darkness consumed her motionless body....  
  
And it began like this....  
  
The rain fell,fast and merciless..The dim-lights flickered on and off at the Java Lava.Chuckie was behind the counter fixing up some smoothies while Lil was sitting in the booth with her ear phones on listening to the Soaky Boys' latest song,Phil was over discussing random things with Tommy.I was sitting by the large window that advertised the Java Lava's newest flavor of mocha.A sad sigh escaped as I stared into the pouring rain,My eyes were red-rimmed from crying.  
  
I could hear Chuckie utter a exasperated groan and I knew why.He knew about my depression,I had pretty good hearing,You know.I winced as the thunder roared as lightning ripped through the grey sky.I didn't know what had brought this pain down on me,I really didn't.But I knew it was going to be over soon -- My world had started fading to black just a couple weeks ago.Even Lil noticed the strange behavior and the signs of depression.....  
  
Sadness  
  
It had only begun a week ago,I was sitting on the edge of my bed crying,Feeling alone and hurt.My door had cracked open as Chuckie peered in to check on me,But yet I ignored him -- Ignored him as if he never exsisted.I uttered a small sigh as I burried my face in my pillow,Knowing Chuckie would be the one to check up on me every so often.  
  
Loss Of Energy  
  
Normally I was energetic and looked forward to hanging out with my friends,But not this time.I felt as if my whole body had turned to rubber -- As if I didn't have any will to move.Things were better when we were babies,But that was years ago -- Its just a mere memory now....  
  
Feelings Of Hopelessness & Worthlessness  
  
I don't belong here,I do not belong in exsistance.What is the point of living anyway?No body cares.Theres no such thing as happiness or immortality now -- Its only a dark and dreary world,No matter how much the people try to act all sunny and bright....  
  
My thoughts had become a turmoil of pain and sadness as I sighed closing my eyes letting the pain fill my soul...  
  
Loss Of Things That Were Enjoyable  
  
I stared blankly at my magazines and make-up,Feeling twisted inside I let out a scream and rammed my fist against my mirror,It cracked but also cut my hand.Blood dripping onto my dresser as I stood there feeling the tears come on,I couldn't substain my own indivuality anymore,Everything was happening so fast.I just wanted to die.  
  
Difficulty Concentrating  
  
During school,I couldn't even concentrate on the assignment,My thoughts would always turn away which caused me to get more bad grades than usual.Normally I was a straight A student but I guess things just had to take a turn for the worse.  
  
Difficulty Making Decisions  
  
Whenever I was asked what I wanted to do,I couldn't decide anymore -- I couldn't think straight.Everything was becoming a blur as I slowly secluded myself from the others,They knew something was wrong but they never understood.  
  
Increased Need For Sleep  
  
"I'm going to bed,Night." I muttered as I headed up stairs.Chuckie stared after me in disbelief.  
  
"But Kimi! It's 3:30 in the afternoon!"  
  
I didn't once turn back to face him,I was to tired -- To warn out,Sleeping never really took my troubles away but atleast in that state of mind,I never felt pain.  
  
Insomnia  
  
There were nights I couldn't sleep,I could only stay up staring into the secluded darkness of the night,Wishing I could be that secluded from everyone.Then there wouldn't be any pain,Never any pain.Ever.  
  
Stomache Ache & Digestive Problems  
  
To make matters worse,Pain would always shoot through my stomach causing me to cry out in intense pain.I hated it so much,I just wanted to slap myself sometimes...  
  
Headaches  
  
Major headaches tended to come on at the most inconvient times,I couldn't handle the pressure and pain any more.I just wanted to smash my head against something and end the pain.But those thoughts never did make me feel any better.  
  
A Change In Apetite Causing Weight Loss Or Gain  
  
What was wrong with me? I could barely see past this pain.I barely ate and I was growing paler and paler and more thin as days went by.I knew I was getting worse by the day..  
  
Thoughts Of Death And Suicide  
  
What would happen if we never exsisted?Would we all finally be happy?Would there never be anymore pain..Would the pain finally be over and there only be silent bliss,Would there be no more suffering because no one exsisted?  
  
Those exact thoughts ran through my head as I stared down at the large knife resting in my hands.Was it worth it,Was it really worth ending it all?  
  
* * *  
  
"Kimi?"  
  
I turned to face Tommy,He looked down at me worriedly.I felt my blood speed up but I ignored it,I merely climbed to my feet to where I was staring straight into his eyes.  
  
"Not now,Maybe later." was all I said as I pushed past him,He frowned as he watched me head towards the exit -- The storm was even more worse outside.  
  
"Kimi!Wait!It's To Dangerous Out There!" Tommy shouted,Drawing attention from some of the customers here.I didn't look back or utter a word.A tear slid down my cheek as I pushed the glass door open and ran off into the storm,Tommy calling my name in the distance -- Hoping I would come back.  
  
God...When would this pain ever end?  
  
End Of Chapter One 


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